


nice people don't live long, especially in times like these

by elliotfromseattle



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Canada Moist Talkers (Blaseball Team), Gen, Hades Tigers (Blaseball Team), Incineration, Ruby Tuesday, ooooooh its a sad one!!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:21:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28951074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elliotfromseattle/pseuds/elliotfromseattle
Summary: An umpire blew a whistle, shouting from behind the mask, its voice staticky, heavy with smoke and malice."PLAY MUST CONTINUE." It shouted, and Kiki stared as the batter readied their swing once again."Wait… why? That guy just died!"She looked over at her teammates. The pitcher turned to her and shook their head."Play must continue." They said, tears running down their cheeks.Kiki watched them steel themself and wind up their swing.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 22





	nice people don't live long, especially in times like these

She didn't realize she was surrounded by darkness until the darkness started to crack.

It had all happened so fast. 

For an eternity, she existed in nothingness. Her thoughts would've wandered if she knew she could think. She would've pounded her fists on the inside of the shell if she knew she was in one. 

A slit appeared above her head, and light streamed through, bright, too bright. She squeezed her eyes shut ( _oh, I have eyes_ , a small part of her realized) and opened them again, her instincts coming to her, a pure baseline desire to do whatever possible to get out of this darkness and into that light. She reached up and clawed ( _oh, look, I have claws too_ ) at the crack, chipping it away to let more and more of that glorious light in, _i need to get into the light get me in the light get me out of here_

Her ears made it out first ( _and ears, I have ears, on top of my head. And there's a hearing aid in one._ ), the sounds of a roaring crowd filtering in, muffled and distorted screams she'd later recognize as a combination of horror and excitement. 

The rest of her head followed, her eyes blinking in response to the light, looking away from the floodlights and out over the field in front of her. Something was on fire, off in the distance. She couldn't quite make out what, nor could she make out what the booming voice overhead was saying until it reached the end of its sentence:

**…SPREADS TO THE TIGERS' YAZMIN MASON.**

She shook the rest of the shell off her body and stood up, suddenly becoming conscious both of her tail and how it poked out from a hole in the back of her skirt. She looked down at herself and saw the white and blue striped uniform outfitted on her body, unsure if it had always been there or if it materialized just as the egg cracked. 

"Hey, Kiki!" A voice called out. 

_Oh, that's me._

She turned, noticing a lineup of people in similar outfits sitting on a damp bench. Some gawked at her, others turned their heads or tilted their caps down, leaving only tear-streaked cheeks visible. One, a fairly short person who appeared to be part-lionfish, waved her down, pointing to an empty spot next to them.

"Here's your spot on the bench. You're right after me on the lineup."

Kiki walked over and tentatively sat down on the driest part of the bench she could find. The person who waved her down smiled weakly at her, but their eyes looked to be puffy from crying. She crossed her ankles, having never felt so nervous in her two minutes of life.

"Um, hi!" She tentatively reached out a hand to shake. "I'm Kiki Familia."

She had no idea how she knew what her name was, just that it was an intrinsic part of herself, the same way that she had ears and eyes and little whiskers attached to her cheeks. 

"Ziwa Mueller." The part-lionfish responded, spittle openly spraying out of their mouth as they grabbed Kiki's hand. "Welcome to the Canada Moist Talkers!"

And as Kiki was about to reply, possibly to thank them, or ask questions, she had so many questions, an umpire's whistle blew, and she suddenly found herself standing at third base, a blaseball glove in her paw. She turned her head and her entire team was standing on the field now, and a group of players clad in orange and black sat on the opposing bench. 

**TOP OF THE 7TH. JENKINS GOOD PITCHING. HADES TIGERS BATTING.**

She was getting more used to the voice overhead, the way its announcements seemed to cause the entire stadium to rumble. She instinctively raised up her gloved hand in preparation as she saw a giant axolotl step up to the plate, but lowered it in disappointment when he struck out quickly. 

A dryad went up to bat next and hit to first, Ziwa scooping the ball off the ground from the outfield before tossing it too late to the skeleton that stood at first place.

 _They seem nice_ , she thought to herself, watching Ziwa make their way back to their usual spot. 

It was when the next batter walked up to the plate holding a polearm instead of a bat that the commotion started. Kiki couldn't quite hear what was going on, but an umpire swooped down and began arguing with the batter, whose pointed tail twitched aggressively. A man with coiffed hair wearing a fashionable white jacket stood up and joined the fray. He was struggling with his balance, wobbling as he yelled at the ump and stumbling over his own feet when his teammates tried to pull him back. She could've sworn she saw the umpire's eyes start to glow, but it all happened so fast and next thing she knew the man was on fire. 

She put a paw over her gaping mouth, eyes wide open in horror as she watched the man burn to ash in front of her. One of the benched players screamed in anguish. The sound of coins jangling echoed in the air. On the other side of the field, two umps exited a back room, wheeling in what appeared to be a giant egg on top of a flat cart. The voice started up again as the egg began to crack, some bizarre amalgamation of frog and puppet breaking its way out. 

**A DEBT WAS COLLECTED. ROGUE UMPIRE INCINERATED TIGERS HITTER MCLAUGHLIN SCORPLER. REPLACED BY FRASIER SHMURMGLE. THE INSTABILITY SPREADS TO THE MOIST TALKERS' ANTONIO WALLACE.**

She heard something hit the ground to her left and saw the skeleton guarding first base stumbling back onto their feet, trying to pick up some finger bones that had fallen off and scattered. They looked dazed and disoriented, like they'd just gotten off of a teacup ride at an amusement park. Kiki noticed her other teammates staring at them in horror, some making nervous glances at the umps and the solar eclipse above them. 

Nobody moved.

An umpire blew a whistle, shouting from behind the mask, its voice staticky, heavy with smoke and malice. 

"PLAY MUST CONTINUE." It shouted, and Kiki stared as the batter readied their swing once again. 

"Wait… why? That guy just died!"

She looked over at her teammates. The pitcher--Jenkins, she realized--turned to her and shook their head.

"Play must continue." They said, tears running down their cheeks. 

Kiki watched them steel themself and wind up their swing. 

The rest of the game was a blur. Both teams kept wary eyes on the umpires and their unstable players. Through it all, Kiki couldn't help but wonder why they were still playing. Why they hadn't stopped, called an ambulance, held a funeral… something. 

Kiki hit a triple in the tenth inning. She made it back to home plate on the next hit and won them the game. The Moist Talkers should've been thrilled, should've celebrated not just the win but the other team's shame. But the whole team sagged with exhaustion as they reentered the locker room. A person with a shark head sobbed openly as other players comforted them. 

Ziwa gathered everyone together in the middle of the room. The air carried a somber weight to it. 

"Alright, I talked to the Tigers. They don't want to hold any services for Moody or Mclaughlin."

"Never look back," The shark-headed person choked out, a small puddle of tears forming at their feet. 

Ziwa nodded. "Still, three incinerations in one game… Absolutely brutal. We'll be holding a service for Elijah sometime this coming week."

The group nodded. Kiki nodded too. She had no idea who Elijah was, but she could put the pieces together. Someone died, and an egg came out. She came from an egg too. She felt a sudden burden on her shoulders, felt it pressing down on her. She couldn't stop thinking about the horrors of the day's events as Ziwa kept talking. 

"Anyway, Antonio… Are you okay? You don't look so good."

The skeleton from first base wobbled in their seat. Their body hadn't stopped swaying since that Tiger had died. Their voice was coarse, like the sound of boots stepping on gravel. 

"Yeah, I'm alright, just… a little dizzy. I'll be okay."

Kiki noticed the woman sitting next to her, her hair reminiscent of an ocean wave, jotting notes down as she mumbled under her breath. She couldn't make out what she was saying, but she could see the notes: 

  * Moody - unstable - died
  * Instability chained Elijah - died
  * Instability chained Yazmin - didn't die
  * Mclaughlin - unstable - died
  * Instability chained Antonio - didn't die
  * Jaylen's pitch -> instability -> death?  
  
DID WE BRING THIS UPON OURSELVES?



She couldn't quite make heads or tails of it herself. But it all seemed rather serious and scary. Her first day in the world, marred by three deaths in the world's premiere bloodsport. And the entire team just played through it. No rest. No mourning. 

Kiki's head kept replaying the scene of that man dying over and over. She saw it every time she closed her eyes, how bright that fire burned, how quickly he was gone, how the pair of headphones rested atop the pile of ash that remained. 

"Anyway, uh, everyone please give a very moist welcome to our newest member, Kiki Familia!"

The group clapped politely and Ziwa waved Kiki over to stand next to them. 

"Um, thanks everyone." She stammered out, "I'm so excited to be on the team! Let's all do our best together!" 

Twelve sets of eyes from twelve worn out players met her, and she felt her whiskers straighten out into points as the anxiety bubbled its way up from her stomach and out of her mouth, demanding that she continue talking, try to reassure them, say anything to help this group. 

"And, well, I don't think that it's right that your friend died, or that those people on the other team died either. I don't really know what's going on, I've only existed in this world for about two hours now, but I don't think it's fair that people are getting killed like this. And I don't think that umpires are supposed to be arbiters of who lives or who dies. I bet if every player stood up to them, they wouldn't stand a chance, right?"

Twelve sets of eyes from twelve worn out players looked away. 

She felt a hand on her shoulder, turned, and saw Ziwa looking at her with pity.

"Kiki… I know you're new. And I know you mean well. But I promise you. This is just how things are here. We can't change it." 

"How… how could you even say that? Have you tried?" 

"Everyone's had the same thought." Another voice piped up. Kiki looked back and saw that it was the woman with ocean hair. She flipped her notepad closed. "There's… certain things that we cannot change. And the fact that we will die is one."

Kiki opened her mouth to protest, but Ziwa interrupted, addressing the group.

"It's been a long day everyone. Thank you all for playing and for giving the game your all. Let's…" They swallowed down a sob, blinking a few times, "Let's go home. We've got another game tomorrow. We can save introductions with Kiki for then too."

The team nodded, and everybody got up and grabbed their things from their lockers, ready to head out. Kiki stood there, deflated. 

"Here, Kiki," Ziwa stepped in front of her, "Let me grab my stuff and you can crash on my couch until we get your housing situation settled, okay?"

"Oh… Alright. Thanks."

Ziwa walked around the corner and came back, almost too fast, holding a large duffle bag over their shoulder. "Come on, let's skedaddle," They sprayed. 

*******

Ziwa's apartment was cozy, and Kiki found herself more exhausted than she'd realized. It settled into her bones, and she found herself dozing off on the couch almost as soon as she sat down. 

"Come on, let's get you a blanket," She heard them say, a smile in their voice. "We can talk more tomorrow."

They covered her with a soft blue blanket, and she reached up to remove her hearing aid, turning it off and placing it on the coffee table before passing out. 

*******

The solar eclipse continued the next day. The anxiety in the air was palpable, as the team began practice. Antonio was still unstable, tripping over their feet when they ran, falling over every time they caught a ball. Kiki couldn't help but speak up.

"Antonio… you shouldn't play today. You're not in any state to."

"Don't tell me what to do!" They barked, tossing the ball back to her. "I'm fine! I still have my vim and vigor!"

She tried to hide the look of pity on her face. 

Later, by the water cooler, Ziwa would remind her that they have to play. Would beg her to stop talking about not playing. To just stick to the rules. The woman with ocean hair--Mooney, Kiki had learned--would also pipe up, asking her to, at the very least, not encourage Antonio to break the rules.

"They're unstable. We don't know what that means."

And Kiki would nod and say that she understood, but deep in her heart, she'd know that it was wrong, know that she couldn't just stand by and watch, couldn't just let things continue on like this. 

_I've been given the gift of life. And I'm going to use it._

*******

They did one last huddle in the locker room before the game started, the whole team wrapping their arms around each other and chanting an assortment of cheers as loudly and grossly as possible. It was a tradition that never failed to bring the mood up, Ziwa had explained. And it seemed to work a bit, quelling at least some of the anxiety that buzzed within the players' chests. 

The entire team had finally introduced themselves to Kiki by this point, and she was just starting to remember their names. They were starting to warm up to her too--she guessed that they saw her outburst last night as naïveté, as a fleeting hope that would die out as she played more games, just like it had in all the rest of them. 

"Alright everyone," The hairy man Kiki recognized as Ortiz Morse spoke up, "Let's play a good, clean, and efficient game. No hold ups! No slowing down! Let's get people on base and get them out as fast as possible!"

"Yeah!" The whole team shouted in unison, squeezing each other's shoulders before finally breaking up the huddle. Kiki laughed, finding herself enjoying the team's vibes.

 _I'm glad this was the team I ended up on._

The Tigers were batting first. Kiki made her way to her spot at third base, Ortiz on the mound, Antonio wobbling at first. The solar eclipse glowed overhead. The speakers above the stadium crackled to life as the Tigers made their way to the dugout. 

**PLAY BALL.**

The large axolotl from the day prior was up to bat first. Ortiz threw a fastball, aiming directly at Mooney's glove. The axolotl hit it perfectly, and the ball went up, up, up in a beautiful arc, and Kiki followed it with her eyes and saw it coming straight her way and she jumped up and it landed neatly in her glove. 

"Great catch Kiki!"

She turned and saw Ziwa beaming at her from the outfield. She smiled back, tossing the ball back to Ortiz. 

The dryad was up next, and quickly struck out, meaning that up after her was…

Kiki saw the spear before she saw the player, felt her mind racing back to yesterday, to the first time she'd seen them, to the way that player burnt to a crisp, how unfair it was, how unfair the whole thing was, the image of the umpire shouting "PLAY MUST CONTINUE" burned into her mind, a fire building in her gut as she couldn't stop herself, couldn't resist, couldn't quell the rage that burned in her young heart. 

She threw her glove onto the ground and began walking off the field. 

"Kiki! Kiki where are you going?" Ortiz called after her. 

"I'm not playing!" She shouted back. She heard someone jogging toward her, turned around, and Ziwa was right there, a mixture of fear and worry on their face. 

"Kiki, please, please, please get back to third base right now."

"No! I'm not playing! I'm not going to let these umpires think they can just do whatever the hell they want willy nilly. None of us should be playing! This is ridiculous. Why should I play a sport where I could burn up at any--"

**hot hot hot hot hot hot hot hot pain pain pain pain pain pain pain pain**

She hadn't noticed the umpire swoop down behind her, nor had she seen its eyes begin to glow. All she knew now was the fire that surrounded her, consumed her, all she could do was scream and writhe in pain as she dropped down on the ground, rolling back and forth to try and put it out, it was no use, she was on fire she was burning up she was on fire she was burning up she was on fire she was burning up and everything went black. 

**Author's Note:**

> was watching legend of the galactic heroes, saw the line that became the title of this, and instantly knew what i had to do. hope u cried xoxo


End file.
